01/18/2017

Seven types of people you meet at the gym and how to deal with them

by  Tin Sartorio
Art by Gica Tam
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A trip to the gym isn’t just a test for our bodies. If we’re completely being honest, it’s also a challenge on our social skills. What should I do to make this small talk less awkward? How exactly should I behave in the locker room? It’s hard to deal with these things and look cool while doing burpees, y’know?

It takes a lot to leave the judgment-free confines of our home for a decent workout. But the thing about going to an actual gym is that the presence of other people shouldn’t be all that bad. They may not be your next BFFs but you might just find them interesting too. Here are seven types of people you meet at the gym and how to deal with them.

Barkada bonding

There’s always that one campaigner who tricks the gang into trying something like, IDK, working out together? That friend is usually a gym regular, while the rest has the stamina that’s next to Snorlax. But as real friends, they show support for others’ passions and actions. And because of that, they usually end up hoarding the treadmills and occupying the entire locker room. Through push ups and burpees; in squats and in planks. What are friends for, right? There’s really no way around these big groups. So if you can’t beat them to the treadmill, might as well join them.

Tita Squad

These titas drop off their kids in school and make it just in time for Zumba. They’re not the most fit (though some will surprise you), but their enthusiasm alone is enough to fill the energy of the room. You’ll spot them from afar with their colorful workout outfits and their Louis Vuitton bags, too. (Yes, LV bags. In the gym. Where they sweat.) After class you’ll find them huddled in a corner, doing what titas do best: eating a healthy brunch. You probably won’t get invited, but they’ll probably hit you up with some questions in the locker room. Take this time to get some #protips like what gives them energy and where to score the best deals for an LV.

The influencer

A trip to the gym is never complete without spotting notorious Instagrammers. Yes, they slay their post-workout selfies as much as their flatlays and “stolen” pics. Don’t be fooled though; those abs aren’t just for snaps. They alternate boxing, yoga and circuit training — all while keeping their brows on fleek. What’s in her gym bag? A selfie stick, Whey Protein and at least three kinds of sports bras. Here’s an idea: follow them online, in case you haven’t. You might just be surprised by how effective their daily #fitspiration posts are.

Hottie trainer

There’s really no shame in going to the gym just to see your crush, especially if he/she is your trainer. They’re probably hella cute and fit. They can be very gentle but can push you to work hard at the same time. But if there’s anything we’ve learned, it’s that people like them have often found their OTP already. You wanna hate them for being taken, but you also want to like them enough, if only to get your lazy butt to the gym in the morning. The struggle is real.

Beast mode

They are what workout videos are made of. You’ll find them in their usual spot at the same time almost everyday of the week. They can be intimidating at times, but that doesn’t really stop us from getting inspired by (read: copying) their set. Chances are, it’s too difficult for our unfit selves. But being able to see them workout up close already makes us feel productive if only by association. Well, sort of.

Headphone hottie

They’re not really the type to make friends but that’s okay. They go in and out of the gym very swiftly and you’ll never see them without their headphones. You might find them too snobbish, but don’t ever take it personally. Chances are, they go to the gym for one reason and one reason only: to sweat their butts off. If you’re feeling a bit uneasy in their presence, just see them as a reminder for you to focus on what you really came here for.

Training in Tandem

Whoever said that it’s okay to bring your date to workout day is probably trying to escape his or her workout set as well. These couples go around the gym like it’s a field trip. It’s a never ending series of showing off and playing dumb, and not a lot of working out, tbh. They annoy the crap out of all of you, but you can’t deny it: having a gym (or life) buddy can come in handy, too. When dealing with couples like them, it’s best to leave the green-eyed monster behind. See them for what they really are: two people happily in love… and probably on their way out for a pig out dinner.

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