02/05/2016

Honor thy father

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Kanye West’s self-proclaimed “best album of all time” is about to drop in less than two weeks. Since the announcement, Kanye’s been undeniably busy, regularly dropping fire and launching Twitter beefs with the ex of an ex. The high road is about as appealing to Kanye West as humble pie, so there may be a risk that he’s fallen off and has not actually completed his new album “Waves,” the album formerly known as “Swish” formerly known as “So Help Me God.” Our theory is that in its place will stand a series of dad raps filled with his newfound fatherly woes. Will they be just as lit? We’ll let you decide. And no, Kylie was not here.

I Am A Dad

(Intro) 
I am a dad 
I am a dad 
I am a dad

 (Hook)
I am a dad
Hurry up with my damn massage
Hurt my back helping North collage
Get the Porsche out the damn garage

I am a dad
Even though I’m a man of dad
My whole life in the hands of dad
So y’all better quit playing with dad

(Verse 1)
Soon as your kids like you make ‘em unlike you
Cause khakis and Tod’s is so unlike you
The only rapper compared to Michael
So here’s a few Jordan colorways in youth size 2

And here’s a list of dogs who might bite you
And I don’t even wanna hear ‘bout what n*ggas might do
Put a tracker in North’s phone till she’s in high school
Until her college say her thesis is due

Pink-ass polos with a f***ing backpack
Make sure the school lunches got a f***in’ snackpack
Kindergarten had no swag, man, kids with onesies out the sale rack

Saint got Pyrex, Don C snapback
Ivan, diamond, Chi-town shining
Worried bout nature’s future with this change of climate
Hop in this b*tch and get the same thing I’m in

 Dad until the day I get struck by lightning

I am a dad
So hurry up with my damn massage
In a French-ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissants

I am a dad
I am a dad
I am a dad

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

(Outro: Justin Vernon)
Ain’t no way I’m giving up. I’m a dad.

Gold Digger

Nori, I ain’t sayin’ be a gold digger,
But better not be messin’ with these broke brokes
Now, I ain’t sayin be a gold digger
But don’t be messin with these broke brokes,

Make plans, girl, go head make plans
Make plans, girl, financial plans
Make plans, girl, go head make plans
Make plans, girl, retirement plans
Make plans, girl, go head.

 Think you cutie the bomb
Going to the beauty salon
With a baby Louis Vuitton
Under your underarm

But you already rock
You already got charm
Need to get savings on lock
Before you get some charms for your arm

I know you know the one
From Margiela
My psychic told me you copped PS4 and a Beemer,
Bring your own drinks and just pay for corkage,

And I gotta say buy your house in cash f**k a mortgage
Okay, then have kids, but when they get they friends
Don’t pull up in a Benz or they all get up in
Then they all want to dine and then you gon’ pay

You know why?
Having children will cost ya
From what I heard future tuition’s a busta
My best friend say it’s best to start a saving culture
While you still young so I learn to trust ya.

Nori, I ain’t sayin’ be a gold digger
But better not be messin’ with these broke brokes
Now, I ain’t sayin’ be a gold digger
But don’t be messin’ with these broke brokes,
Make plans, girl, go head make plans

Make plans, girl, financial plans
Make plans, girl, go head make plans
Make plans, girl, retirement plans
Make plans, girl, go head.

Flashing Lights

Flashing lights, lights
Flashing lights lights
Flashing lights, lights
Flashing lights, lights

(Kanye):  She believe in shootin’ stars,
 but she off to school to design cars
Wood floors in the new apartment
Can’t believe Nori’s in college
Saint more loves to sculpt sh*t, I’m more of the trips to Florida

Order the hors d’ouerves, views of the water
Straight from the page of your favorite author
And the weather so breezy,
 man, why can’t life always be this easy

Saint in the corner applying to RISD,
I get a call like where are you, Yeezy
Try to hit you with a “Oh you’re choppy”
Till I get flashed by the paparazzi

Damn, these n**gas got me, 
I hate these n**gas more than the Nazis.

 (Dwele): 
As I recall, I know you love to show off
But I never thought that you would take it this far

What do I know? Flashing lights, lights
What do I know? Flashing lights, lights

 (Kanye): Nori, You know it’s been a while,
 Sweetheart, we hardly talk, you out there doing yo’ thing
I was thinking maybay baybay,
 a-bay late-ly you been all on my brain
And if somebody would’ve told me a month ago
Empty nest would suck, yo, I wouldn’t wanna know

If somebody would’ve told me a year ago
it’d go, get this difficult
Feeling like Katrina with no FEMA
Like Martin with no Gina

First class with the seat back I still see y’a
ll in my past, you on the other side of the glass
Of my memory’s museum,
I’m just saying,

Hey, Mona Lisa,
 come home you before you max out your Visa.

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