As if it hasn’t been said enough, 2016 has been a pretty rough year. From politics to pop culture madness, it’s been a series of unfortunate events and we can’t help but be stunned that Christmas Eve is just a few days away. The year just flew by and, if you’re like us, gift shopping has been last on your to-do list too. But that’s totally fine. The only things we should be wishing for anyway are those that’ll make the world a better place again.
For this year’s Young STAR gift guide, we’re putting the spotlight on gifts to give those who’ve been naughty this year. It’s one thing for us to be hopeful for a better year ahead. But real, meaningful change can only come from those who’ve brought all the negativity into our lives in the first place. Here are 10 people, apps, and things that made it onto our naughty list and what we should all get them for Christmas.
DJs who play ‘Closer’ by The Chainsmokers all the time
Well, it’s not like Closer is the worst EDM pop song ever. There are others with lyrics that are just as terrible, but with a catchy beat to make up for it. It’s the number of times we have to hear it — often unintentionally — that makes it so annoying. Whether you’re in line at the trike station or walking on the streets, it’s impossible to go through a day without being triggered by this song — all thanks to the radio DJs who keep repeating it. There are more important issues we need to be reminded of and some chick stealing her roommate’s mattress shouldn’t be one of them. — Tin Sartorio
Gift suggestion: A late-night shift so these radio DJs can play the same songs over and over again.
A lot of people are scared of what will become of Donald Trump’s America, but people should be equally terrified of his vice president, Mike Pence. A staunch conservative, Pence has opposed LGBT rights (gay marriage would lead to “societal collapse,” he has said), endangered public health in his home state of Indiana (an HIV epidemic caused by reusing needles), and oppressed women’s rights (restricted abortion access, defunding Planned Parenthood), all in the name of his “beliefs.” — Neal P. Corpus
Gift suggestion: A time machine to bring him back to 1016, ‘cause he’s apparently living in the Dark Ages.
Fact: Everybody loves Potato Corner. Some even turn into apologists during dark times. But some of their fans turned into actual critics when they lovingly retweeted Sandro Marcos. No matter how good their fries are, people are going to get iffy when a brand shows support –– or even tweeting “we missed you so much!” –– to someone who has a bad rep for, well, enjoying stolen wealth. A like would have been enough; but we’re guessing they do like the guy. — Maine Manalansan
Gift suggestion: A social media manager who’s #woke.
When Snapchat came back with a brand new interface and hella cool face filters, people started ignoring boring ol’ Instagram. I guess IG got too butt-hurt with the decline of their users so that they blatantly stole the concept and interface from Snap. All of a sudden, we could record videos and doodle on them. Oh, and they even called it Stories. We have to admit, having that functionality on IG is efficient. But a copycat is a copycat and that will haunt them forever. — MM
Gift suggestion: Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon because they need to learn the art of subtlety.
For a time, Uber was a godsend: a private car that you could rent on-demand, with courteous drivers and honest payment systems. No matter where you lived, Uber would take you there safely. (The same, unfortunately, can’t be said about most public transportation in Metro Manila.) Lately, though, taking Uber has become its own version of purgatory: insane surges that go on for hours (even during non-peak periods!), a fixed-fare rate based on location, and drivers who aren’t always the most fun to share a ride with. How vicious can this cycle really get?! Hate you but love you, Uber. — Marga Buenaventura
Gift suggestion: A very solid app downgrade that brings them back to the Uber we used to love.
What’s worse than being sexist? Being a mansplainer and not realizing what’s wrong with it. It’s 2016 and it’s surprising how many men still assume that their views are the only ones valid simply because they think women are not capable of understanding things the way they do. Here’s a fun idea: don’t be a close-minded pr*ck. Do your research, hear other people out, and look beyond your male privilege. Because let’s be real, no one likes to engage in a one-sided conversation with overconfident dudes who probably don’t even know what they’re talking about. —TS
Gift suggestion: A fortune cookie like the one in Freaky Friday so they’ll finally know what it really feels like to be a woman in a patriarchal
On top of what has already happened, online trolls possibly the worst kind of netizen there is — plagued the interwebs with their wrath, in the form of fake news articles, inflammatory comments on social media, and causing bogus online traffic. Allegations of paid troll armies also went viral. We hope it’s only a matter of time until they’re conquered. — NPC
Gift suggestion: A crash course on fact-checking and basic journalism.
The United States electoral college system
No matter how weird and unbelievable the outcome of our local national elections was, we couldn’t help but stare in disbelief after another misogynistic male won a presi dency. It would be more acceptable if he won by popular vote — but no, the system screwed America over. Winning via the electoral college system is like getting the higher score at a basketball game but losing because the referee said so. It’s kind of unfair, but we guess that’s really the way it is. — MM
Gift suggestion: The Philippines’ voting system. They might use it better than we do.
There was a time when Taylor Swift was almost invincible. When Kanye West dissed her in his track Famous, she declared that women should never let anyone else take credit for their own success. People rallied to her side, after she was blindsided by the song. Things changed, though, when Kim Kardashian revealed that Taylor knew it all along. Taylor’s self-defense after that was shoddy at best: aside from a messy statement screenshot from her Notes app, she dated actor Tom Hiddleston — the farce of which successfully dominated the news cycle fora while. But now everyone knows just how mechanized Taylor’s image really is — contrary to her “simple girl” narrative — and that 2016 is truly a savage on everybody, including the most invincible girl in the world. — MB
Gift suggestion: A slice of humble pie.
Jennifer Lawrence used to be one of our homegirls (especially when she defended herself against Internet pervs who hacked into her iCloud), until our problematic fave got into some hot water when she told the story of how she disrespected some sacred rocks while shooting a movie in Hawaii. In a guest appearance at the Graham Norton Show, Jennifer raunchily described how her butt got itchy so she wiped her behind on it — and laughingly narrated how it dislodged one of the rocks in the process. The funny (or sad) part is that she actually told the story on another show years back but when it didn’t do so well, she amped up the details, offending people everywhere this time around. She apologized via Facebook, but for someone who’s so good at defending her own rights, you’d think she’d be better at defending other people’s too. As Biebs has said, “Is it too late now to say sorry?” — MB
Gift suggestion: A book by Emily Post so she can learn a bit about basic etiquette.