What do you give someone who can buy anything?

You said you’d stop after last semester’s hell which your inner nagging mom insists could’ve been avoided if you just took things one at a time. But hey! No time for regrets. Even if, instead of actually sitting down to think about what best represents your relationship with dad rather than just settling for another Hallmark card or surplus sale curio, you just had to go to your high school friends’ gig in Mow’s, just had to find yourself in Sagada and recover from heartbreak …

Ganun ka naman, eh. Relying on Totally Reliable™ listicles on what SM has for you. Since you forgot again, we did a bit of planning for you.

Fancy wine 

Even if the ingredients translate to “vehicle” and “rat tail,” wine is still a foolproof gift idea. This wine even fights diabetes with its negative sugar content value. Totally not a typo on the packaging.

A Man Romper 

In these liberated times, guys too can experience comfort and style in literally one piece of clothing. Feel the rain on your skin, er, those hairy legs!

Something sinful 

Welch’s grape juice (which you used on a Grade 6 science project), any gardening magazine (read: a dirty magazine), and the ultimate bad boy: Hawaiian pizza. Such a rebel you are. Well, you’re both adults now.

A House and Lot (and Sigil) 

Your parents worked hard to help you stand on your feet, but really, you know deep down you’re just a pawn in the game of thrones. Dad buying you that Playstation 2 back in 2005 was really just him massaging his conscience. But you have no regrets. You have toughened your resolve. Legacy is the only thing that lasts. And what better way to establish your honorable family name by conquest, by fire and blood. You may not win the Iron Throne but at least there’s a slight chance your name and direwolf / street cat / bakunawa sigil will deck the Libingan ng Mga Bayani.

Fight Club 

Not the movie or book. Looking for an outlet to help your dad channel his male aggression amidst looming andropause? You can organize and register a local fight club alongside many accredited NGOs. I mean, if no one’s going to do it…

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