Seven father figures of our lives

Art by Richard Mercado

There are common traits that most, if not all fathers share. To name a few examples: a propensity for corny jokes, strong hands, an oddly specific love for Tender Juicy Hotdog. But that aside, dads come in different shapes, sizes, and personalities, and this Father’s Day we wanna celebrate the different types of father figures that may hold a special place in your life.

Office Dad

  • Works a boring 9 to 5 for your education and lifestyle
  • Wants you to follow your dreams but also be financially secure
  • Coffee is love, coffee is life

Tito Takas

  • Beer belly
  • Amoy yosi
  • Lets you out of the house before going “Don’t tell your mom”

Daddy-o

  • Stuck in the 60s / 70s
  • Has the most bangin’ vinyl collection
  • Courted your mother by way of serenade

Your cool high school teacher

  • Not literally your dad but you wish he was
  • Has never given a boring lecture
  • When you grow up, you wanna be just like him

The Soloist

  • Shoutout to the single dads who do the work of two parents
  • Would be extremely competent during a zombie apocalypse
  • Super good at relationship advice for some reason

Stepdad

  • They’re called stepdads because they have to step the eff up to be a part of your life
  • And that’s precisely what they do
  • Doesn’t force anything, wants you to do your own thing

Workin’ Overseas

  • Da real MVP of this country
  • Bonding sessions over skype / long distance call
  • The one thing he wants more than seeing you again is to see you happy
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