Five things that persist even while the LRT and MRT trains glitch

Art by Ina Jacobe

According to the officials of the Metro Rail Transit, citizens who take the MRT would do well to expect the trains to glitch because of high temperatures. The past few summer days have seen worsened delays and trip cancellations, despite maintenance work done on the trains during the holy week. (Insert “Jesus came back on time but the trains didn’t” joke here.)

Because that’s how it is in this country. You don’t know what to be mad at more — the inefficiency of this country’s public transport system, or the f****** sun.

We know you have places to be, friend. To make your day (and what a gruellingly, ridiculously hot day it is, we’re sure) a little bearable, here are five things that apparently run better than our trains despite the summer heat.

The GrabTaxi you decided not to take so you could save a little money

And what do you get for your attempt at being financially responsible? Sweat pooling up in places you didn’t know could sweat. At this point you’d be better hailing a regular cab driver working 24 hours a day, thirsty for whoever’s willing to add a little more money to the meter.

The jet ski Duterte said he would ride to the West Philippine Sea islands

In theory, at least. This imaginary jetski supposedly has the power to travel across 1,175 kilometers of turbulent seawater and fix one of the country’s most pressing geopolitical issues. Duterte later backtracked on the plan at a press briefing, announcing that Chinese helicopters would take him to the islands instead. Dude, like that’s supposed to make me feel better?

The government’s plans to take away birth control options for Filipino women

So you’ve got the time to wax your pro-life sentiments and ban sub-dermal implants but for some reason getting better grease for the trains is harder? What kind of lame-ass to-do list is the Supreme Court ticking boxes on? Ah yes, let’s fix the trains, but before that, let’s take away birth control options for women everywhere. Stay gold, Supreme Court.

That one friend who still isn’t back from their holy week vacation

And is still living it up in some country relatively far from the equator, wearing sweaters. Get back here and suffer like the rest of us!

Entropy and the eventual heat death of the universe

In one scenario for how all life as we know it ends, the universe expands so dang much and everything gets so far apart from each other that the stars burn out and everything becomes extremely cold. This theoretical scenario has been famously nicknamed “The Big Freeze,” which sounds pretty sweet right about now, tbh.

#politics #technology

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